


keep going, keep going, keep going

by whendocloudssleep



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Post-Finale, spoilers for the end of the campaign
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-04-04 00:40:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14008368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whendocloudssleep/pseuds/whendocloudssleep
Summary: She smiled down at him, living through his joy in disrupting the birds peace when she hears someone calling out.“Vax!”





	keep going, keep going, keep going

**Author's Note:**

> I thought this up in the middle of work a couple of months ago and finally powered through to finish it.
> 
> title taken from a John Darnielle quote:
> 
> "[audience member: ‘Live hard, die young!’] Yeah, it’s a little too late for that, man. I have news for you: sometimes, sometimes it turns out the slogan you didn’t know you were living by was: ‘live hard, live long.’ The slogan begins to stretch: ‘live hard, live long, feel pain, go on, wake up, keep going, keep going, keep going. Grow old, keep going, outlive all friends, last man alive, unending desert, so many stars, limitless, endless stars, throne standing alone in the desert, and yourself…."

It’s been a rough few years to say the least, but Vex is here, letting herself be dragged out to a much deserved girl’s day. They’re in Emon, away from the ghosts of their past, where the streets still feel too new for all that plenty of battles have raged since Thordak destroyed everything.

No matter that fact, she’s walking down new-old streets, stones clicking under her boots, remembering things that have lost their vivid brightness with how old they are. 

She thinks that that tavern was once a place where Vax locked himself in a closet all night.

And there, a couple of turns away is an entrance to the Clasp’s tunnels. 

She doesn’t want to be late, so she’s walking with purpose, her mind tied up in the past.

She’s looking down a side street, remembering finding Gilmore’s Glorious Goods in a destroyed heap, finding Gilmore in the rubble, the ragged look on Vax’s face, on all of their faces really, when she walks right into a little boy.

He falls to the ground in that outlandish way that children tend to do, and then a moment later he’s grinning up at her, jumping to his feet and running off into a swarm of birds. 

She smiled down at him, living through his joy in disrupting the birds peace when she hears someone calling out.

“Vax!”

At first she thinks that she’s misheard. That used to happen a lot more and it would send a jolt of pain right through her each time. 

She looks around and doesn’t see anyone looking at her, just a young woman quickly walking down the street, eyes locked on the little boy. 

“Vax stop that! Leave them alone!” Vex stops in her tracks, body frozen, unable to move. She hasn’t heard someone actually saying his name, calling his name in so long. It’s not to say that they don’t talk about her brother, but there’s always a sort of gravity to it, an undercurrent of this is what he did for us.

“But they like me!” The little boy yells back, and that helps to snap her out of it. He sounds nothing like the Vax’ildan that she grew up with. 

“They don’t like you, they’re going to attack in a minute and then where will you be.” 

His mother has gotten close enough that she doesn’t have to scream as loudly and before she can stop herself Vex is reaching out a hand to stop the woman. “Excuse me darling, did you say Vax?”

The woman turns beet red and nods. She immediately looks so terribly young. 

Vex can barely remember being that young, several children and deaths and adventures ago. It’s hard to think that anyone could ever be that young.

“That’s a very strange name.” 

The woman reaches up to fiddle with a necklace around her neck, a nervous tick as she sends a look over to where her son is still presumably playing with the flock of birds. “It’s from a series of books?” She sounds almost unsure, like she doesn’t know that she wants to be sharing this, but also doesn’t know that she could stop. “The Tales of Vox Machina? By Scanlan Shorthalt?”

Another familiar name and Vex can feel herself smiling without meaning to. “I’ve heard of them.” What an understatement.

“Well we read them together when we were first seeing each other, and Vax- Vax’ildan, he saved the world.” They both look over and she smiles over at the little boy. He looks nothing like her brother Vax did with his messy short blonde hair, but there’s something in the way that he keeps getting up when he trips over a particularly stubborn bird. The way he grins when he gets a particularly good scare on one of them. “I thought that our baby could use some of that courage.” 

There’s magic in a name, and Vex hopes that this little boy gets something good out of his. 

“I think right now, I would mainly just prefer if he would stop causing so much trouble. He must be driving those poor birds mad.” The smile doesn’t disappear but it grows much more exasperated. “Honey, please stop. We’re going to be late.” 

She turns to look back at Vex, sharing that look of what can you do? and seems to really take in what she sees, eyes slightly narrowing and then lighting up with recognition.

“I’m Elaine, and you are?”

Before Vex can say anything there’s a flurry of motion as the young boy finally walks up to join them. There’s a huge raven sitting on his shoulder. The bird seems almost as large as the little boy. “I told you they liked me.”

“Oh my god!” His mother tries to shoo the bird away and it stays with the little boy, before flying up to perch on Vex’s shoulder instead. She reaches a hand up to scratch at his feathers and he nuzzles against the side of her head. 

“I’m Vex’ahlia. Lovely to meet you.” Vex sticks a hand out and Elaine’s blush had faded but it comes back now, worse than ever but she powers through the handshake. “I really do have to go now. I’m meeting some people and I think that’s them.”

There’s a sound of loud arguing coming from up the street, and no matter how long it’s been Vex would know that sound in her sleep. They turn to look and there are a couple of gnomes walking with a half-elf and a tiefling, red skin and horns distinguishable from even this far away. 

At the same moment, the young boy starts tugging on Elaine’s hand repeating over and over, “I’m hungry, I’m hungry.” 

She sends a quick glance down and says, “Okay, we’re heading to grandma’s now anyway, and you know that she’ll feed you.” He grins up at her and leans in to hug her leg. 

“And you young mister, you should behave, and not cause too much trouble.” Vex winks as she goes to turn to head up the street, “some trouble is good though.”

She can hear their laughter though she can’t see them anymore, and can hear Elaine saying “come on, let’s go.” and Vex feels lighter than she has since she Grog died, since she lost Percy and realized that it never gets easier losing the ones you love, no matter how long you had together.

She feels a sharp pain on her ear, and reaches up to swat at the bird on her shoulder. “Ow, brother. What was that for?”

He seems to shrug from his perch, before taking off to fly around and land on each of their friends.

(“Scanlan! I thought this was a girl’s day!”

“Well I didn’t want to be left out. It’s not like there are so many people left for a man’s day out.”

“…The lipstick was a good touch.”)


End file.
